Breaking: Seniors Graciously Allow Faculty Win At Annual Softball Game

On a brilliant and lovely Maine spring afternoon, the Senior class took on the Faculty in our annual softball tilt, and once again it was proven that age (please read: “experience”) and beauty come before youth and beauty, at least in this undertaking.  Geoff “Tail” Wagg’s arrival seems to have lifted the weather curse that has plagued this event for the last decade, and an infusion of younger faculty/staff talent has ensured that grizzled veteran David “the Kid” Neilan can admit to his back pain rather than continue to try to live up to his nickname.

With some Seniors eschewing actual appearances on the field for the relative comfort of the bench seats on the hill, exact numbers were unavailable at press time, but Ross “the Grill Master” Burdick estimated 25 – 30 members of the class of 2015 were present, and with at least 15 faculty milling about, player-manager Peter Hamblin was content to stand in short right field with his glove tucked under his arm, noshing on one of Burdick’s “Ballpark” hot dogs.  After Graham “Hammer” Ratner lined a shot into center field that ticked off the outstretched glove of a leaping, twisting Stacey “Golf’s my real game” Sevelowitz, the seniors enjoyed an early 2-0 lead.  With 20 or more of seniors arrayed in the field, the faculty struggled to “hit ’em where they ain’t.”  Faculty manager Lowell “Label” Libby also neglected to deploy base-running coaches, leading to several faculty outs on the base-paths, admittedly on well-executed run-downs by the class of ’15.  Stephanie “Canadian” Dolan did hustle to protract one play between third and home to stretch the nerves of ’15.

The faculty offense finally got rolling in the third and fourth innings, turning around a 2-1 deficit when the Head of School “wagged” home with the faculty’s third run, which then grew to a 7-2 lead, and ultimately a 9-2 final tally.  The big blow came in the fourth, when Rob “why shouldn’t I play shortstop with a catcher’s mitt, its what I had in my garage?” Kierstead, rocketed a fly-ball to left-center for a three-run homer.  “That ball was so high up there,” marveled Senior star outfielder Lucy Weaver, “that I was wondering if it would punch a hole in the sky.”  Notable faculty rocks, David Vaughan “Street Variety”  and Wendy “I can fly” Curtis played steadily at third and  second base respectively, while Label Libby reprised his role as the first baseman who keeps moving the first base bag around to “make the game less literal.”  New comer Steve “Withouter or” Withers, old-timer and senior dad Bob “Big O” Olney, and others were left to wander the outfield, as Hamblin convinced  each that they were “out standing in their field.”  Steve “Stevie Z” Kautz played a pivotal role as well, initially at shortstop, before putting on an incredible pitching performance in which he recorded six outs on ten pitches.

“Go Ask” Alice Wagg served as super fan, and enlisted Dyer “Country” Rhoads to set up the sound system to play nothing but “baseball rock.”  After the game Ms. Wagg pointed out, “I knew you could talk trash, I just didn’t know you could back it up!”